Am You Ready For Therapy?
Your Therapy Journey
Starting therapy is an important decision. Your mental and sexual health journey is something we don’t take lightly as it requires financial, emotional, and mental investment. Therefore, let’s make an informed decision about whether starting therapy at this point in your life is the best decision for you.
Signs You Might Not Be Ready for Therapy and What You Can Do in the Meantime
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Do your friends, family, or maybe even siblings tell you that you’d benefit from therapy but you don’t see the point? Perhaps, you feel you can get through life struggles on your own because you’ve been doing it this entire time. From my experience, therapy works best when it’s not forced and you want to work on yourself.
In the meantime, I recommend reflecting on your life. Are you happy with who you are, how you show up, and how you move in the world? How about worldviews? Are you happy with your current life trajectory? Have you lost motivation to enjoy hobbies? Or feel more isolated from friends? Think about why these things may be and whether they are in your control. Maybe you just need more time to reflect on what it is you need. If you determine that you want more support and don’t know where to start, that might be a good indicator to speak to someone. I’ll be here once you are ready.
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Therapy is an investment and oftentimes, it can be quite expensive, especially when you are paying out of pocket. Resources like Open Path Psychotherapy Collective (https://openpathcollective.org/client/) is a wonderful non-profit that provides low-cost therapy sessions. You would be eligible to receive sessions for as low as $30, if you make less than $100,000. If this is not an option for you at this time, I recommend listening to podcasts, audiobooks, reading self-help books, and reading blog posts relevant to what you’d want to improve in your life.
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There’s a misconception that therapists are supposed to solve people’s problems. Unfortunately, we can’t read minds and we can’t change people’s circumstances. We can however, provide tools, insight, and some direction in identifying areas of your life that is within your control. If you are looking for someone to solve everything for you, perhaps therapy is not what you need. Depending on your specific needs, if you are looking for more direct solutions or advice, I may recommend seeking a coach of sorts - such as a dating coach or career coach.
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…and that’s completely okay. This needs to be a decision that you come to on your own. As I mentioned previously, therapy works best when it comes from within. Perhaps now is not the time - for whatever reason and that’s valid.
Signs You Might Benefit from Therapy and May Be Ready to Start
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It’s okay to not have an exact outline/roadmap for what you want to work on. However, general goals and expectations for therapy is a great place to start, for you and your therapist. Having an idea of what you want to get out of therapy (whether that’s feeling less anxious, connecting more with your partner, or wanting a more fulfilling sex life), could give you and your therapist a head start.
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There’s specific events or trauma that has been unresolved and you want help processing and better understanding it. Perhaps, you are having ruminating thoughts about the past or the memories keep replaying in your head. You don’t know what to do because you’ve been suppressing it for so long, but you would like support/help navigating these waters.
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This includes having the mental capacity to work on yourself. Setting time aside in your schedule to reflect and improve on daily life habits takes change and so does working on yourself. You’re highly motivated and excited for your mental health and sexual journey.
What Kind of Therapy is Best For You?
Read about the differences between individual and couples therapy to see what’s right for you.
Individual Therapy
Individual therapy is just with you. We focus on your life and the changes you want to make. You can also be in a relationship and want individual therapy to work on yourself first before starting couples therapy. Individual therapy topics may include:
Discovering/Rediscovering your identity and your most authentic self
Understanding your own sexual needs and learning how to express your needs to your partner
Working on communication skills
Understanding what you’re looking for in a partner
Processing sexual and emotional trauma (past or present)
Working on personal self-esteem, self-confidence, and advocacy
Couples Therapy
Your relationship doesn’t need to be on rough waters to start couples therapy. Sometimes all you need is a few sessions to navigate minor issues. Couples therapy can be helpful for long-term relationships, new relationships, and even relationship transitions (ex. divorce, breakups, or poly). Some potential couples topics include:
Navigating family dynamics and challenges, especially in interracial relationships
Improving your sex life and having more pleasurable sex
Transitioning your relationship into a different dynamic
Learning to communicate and express yourself to your partner
Better understanding each other’s perspectives
Conflict resolution and anger management
Co-dependency and learning to be more independent
What now?
Now that we know you want to start your therapy journey, let’s determine if we’d be a good fit for each other and what you can expect. I’ve also streamlined the process for you, so you know exactly what to do next. Wondering if we’d be a good fit? Learn more about my therapy style.